Economy of Motion
As I write this, I am at a martial arts seminar. I’m as surprised as you are. No one has ever confused me with Jean Claude Van Dam. As I watch, I am struck by the fact that there is no wasted motion. Everything is done on purpose for a purpose.
How much of our lives and our marriages are wasted motion? Even as I am writing this, my phone is spinning my slot machine game that gains me nothing other than most of another hour killed. In the realm of marriage, you can’t put too much value on intention. Are you doing this on purpose with the intention of loving your wife in a way that gives her value? A core teaching we give to every couple we work with is to learn to love smarter, not harder. If you love hard but ineffectively, you can tire yourself out and exhaust your wife. You eventually stop trying because you just don’t have anything left in the tank. Martial arts marriages don’t waste time or motion or effort. There are results to go with any corresponding effort. We run into couples where either the husband or wife think they are doing a great job, but can’t figure out why their marriage is stalled out. They were doing a whole lot of wrong things. Maybe that is you.
Great advice, you might say, but how do I go from doing a lot of the wrong things doing the right things? Great question. Here is some help. It goes back to being intentional. When you make a special effort to love on your special someone, watch how they react. Be on the lookout for big smiles, receiving frequent thank yous. When you see these things, do more of that. There are people who have known your wife longer than you. Ask them. Neglected resources have no value. The biggest and most overlooked option is asking your wife “How can I love you better?” It isn’t a sign of weakness to ask for help. When it comes to a 50+ year commitment, we have to use every tool in the toolbox to keep going strong. The less effort you waste, the longer your energy lasts and the better the results. Now go out there and love smarter, not harder, and be intentional about how you use the economy of motion!